Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Swagger Jagger

Swagger Jagger. Cher Lloyds new song. I have just viewed it on youtube. And my reaction..?

Oh Dear.

I'm going to be honest with you here. Rebecca Blacks Friday was better than this. Seriously. Its at that rate. Now, I have absalutly NO idea what the HELL she was doing during the duration of that music video. All I know was that I would have thought it was illegal to use dead cats as hair extensions..?
Most of the music/noise in this is basiclly a horn, or siren, which just iritates me. And she seems to think that I " Can't stop lookin' at me, staring at me, be what I be!" Talk about bad vocab skills. I don't "be what she be. That makes no sense, whatsoever. I think Miss. Lloyd needs to speak to Indi, and get some real songwriting skills. And I'd really rather not look at her..And I suppose when she says we're writing about her and tweeting about her, yes thats true, though she doesn't seem to realise that its not always nice things we write about you Miss. Lloyd..
And those signature loop earings, bandana used as a hairband, worringingly strange facial expressions, and the adidas looking brand shoes...all obvious signs of her being, to put it simply, a chav. And then for her song, to take a worst turn. At the start its quick, and rough, and then it slows down abruptly, leaving me quite baffled, as she wails "Swagger Jagger, swagger jagger, you should get sooome of your own." Maybe we would if any of us actually knew what it was..Maybe its a disease involving too much adidas and foundation...And when she says "GET ON THE FLAAAAAW!!" I can't help but burst out laughing at the way she says floor. Flaaaaw!!
And then at the end shes pressing some buttons on her ipod, and then picks up a boombox as if people actually still walk down the street with those, but it makes no sense why she would need a boombox if she has in ipod. But all in all, she hasn't done her self any favours. There were so many things wrong with it. 

And so there was my crippling review of swagger jagger. I think Cher Lloyd is the definition of a tangerine whos not orange. she has all the other qualities..
To see Swagger Jagger for yourself, click here! 
(Warning, viewing this content may cause distress, and mental scarring. Viewer discretion is strongly advised)


  1. Oh gosh Crescent, I was literally 15 seconds into the song, and I couldn't listen any longer. What a chaaaaav. And thanks for the compliment, dear :)

  2. Indeedie. :) And yes, indeedie is a word. Well, I say it is ;)