Tuesday, October 18, 2011


Oh hi. I didn't see you there. Ok, so basically, I decided to start writing a diary in this journal thing I have and then post it on the internet for the whole world to see out of sheer boredom, because obviously everyones just dying to know what I'm up to.

Anyway, It's nice to meet you, I'm a lot of people. I'm Crimson, I'm Crescent, and I'm Hana. You can really call me what you want, I don't care. So any way, yeah, I'm Hana and I'm selfish, impatient and uncaring. I like reading, dark watercolours, and things that make me seem like a nice person. Also black nail varnish and red hair dye. I like boys clothing, which has resulted in me stealing my bro's clothes, which has resulted in me getting hit.

My Mam got out of hospital today. I was so happy, I had missed her so much. She was supposed to come out on Monday, but she kept it as a suprise that she was getting out today. I hate the way her and my Granda think I'm not responsible or smart enough to realise what the side effects of all this is.I obviously know that I have to take care of my Mam, 'cos the chemo makes her sick. And I know that I have to clean up after myself yadda yadda yadda. Maybe I am unresponsible and dumb. Ah well. My hand is already hurting. Ok, I'm back. I was on facebook. Sorry 'bout that. Of course you wouldn't notice that I stopped writing 'cos this is all one big thing for you. Maybe I should post like 3 lines a week, just ta piss ya off. I can be a mean bitch when I want to be. I can also be a mean bitch when I don't want to too though, which is slightly inconvenient. 
I can be so angry at my Mam sometimes. She started smoking again. And that hurts. She promised she wouldn't smoke. Ah well. 
Is it wrong that pointing out my bad points makes me feel good about myself? 
Probably means I'm crazyyyy.
I think I can hear my Mam crying downstairs. Its ok though, 'cos shes downstairs with her friend. Sometimes I get really sad and angry and confused at the same time that I take a scissors and I go to cut my own hair. I don't know how that should make me feel better. It would probably just make me uglier. But my logic always comes over me before I manage to actually cut my hair. Y'know another reason why I'm a bad person? Because there are a few reasons I'm doing this, here's 2.
1. To rant about whats happening in my life
2. Basically to be pitied, right?
There's nothing really wrong with my life, I mean obviously, my Mam has cancer, and I kinda hate my Dad, but nothing huge. There are people out there who are raped and abused nearly every day, and they suck it up and carry on. And I'm moaning and whinging about such small stuff in comparison. 

Anyway, I'm listening to Vermillion by Slipknot. My good friend Robert(Bob The Mosher) introduced me to this song. Seriously though, only listen to thing song if your depressed. I'm not depressed though LOL Yeah I'm totally emo, and I cut myself all the time NOT.
DAMN. Sorry just remembered how fucking sad this song is.

Slipknot-Vermillion the bloodstone mix, part 2

Oh crap. I wrote a lot. I just realised I'm gonna have to type this up eventually DAMMIT. I'll probably do it when I go to Indi's house, and steal her wifi.

I want to cry. My life is over. I didn't get to buy Kerrang! My Chemical Romance poster edition. Whhyyyyyy? WHHYYYYYYY? LIFE, WHY DO YOU HATE MEEEEE?? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
I'll have to buy it off ebay, for like 30 euro.I actually don't care, I fucking need it.

Sometimes I fucking hate my brother. He's so fucking annoying. Sorry for cursing. I would have gouged his eyeballs out by now if it weren't for that tiny bit of logic I have.

My Mam started shouting at us 'cos my bro saw that I was wearing another one of his jumpers. But its way to small for him any way so.My Dad just came in now.
Ok that was basically a post I wasn't assed to finish, so I'll just post everything that I was assed to post.

**Insert poetic goodbye statement**

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